


Just Want This

by Cas_203



Category: Original Work
Genre: cursing, gender fluid, pansexuality, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 16:52:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12988341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cas_203/pseuds/Cas_203
Summary: I'm sorry, but I just. This needed to come out.





	Just Want This

I am so fucking tired.

I'm tired of lying in bed  _every single night_ with tears running down my face because I feel like I'm gonna go to hell.

I'm tired of stopping myself from calling another girl pretty because I don't want people to realise that I'm pansexual.

I am _tired_ of hiding the fact that I'm pansexual because my parents would disown me and I probably won't have a place to live if they found out.

I'm tired of being called _'she_ ' and _'her_ ' when I feel like a ' _they_ ' or ' _them_ ', and I'm tired of being forced to wear dresses or heels when I want to wear baggy sweaters and jeans and sneakers.

I'm tired of feeling so alone because the only people who know the real me are the people who read stuff of mine on this account, and I'm tired of feeling like I'll drown in this _feeling_ that sometimes just threatens to engulf me on days like today unless I find a way to let it out. 

I'm tired of being asked if i have a  goddamn boyfriend by every single person at school.

I'm tired of feeling so fucking wrong.

I'm tired of feeling so fucking lonely.

I just want to be _not_ alone, for once. I just want someone to hold me and not misgender me and I want someone call me 'darling' while I cry in their arms and I want someone to talk to who actually knows what the hell they're talking about because I'm fourteen and I didn't know that someone could feel so fucking scared and so fucking jaded and so fucking alone at fourteen and I feel like I'm going to goddamn _suffocate_  unless someone tells me otherwise.

I just want someone to talk to on nights like this.


End file.
